Under Siege XXII: Planes, Helicopters, Ships and Automobiles

And so we have left Beirut. I am now safely ensconsed in my parents house in deepest Kent drinking tea, eating fruitcake and watching Sky news to find out what is going on. I have been reliably informed that Sky has been pretty good throughout the conflict. Personally, I am more of a Sky sceptic - anything owned by a Murdoch is not really my cup of tea - but I was willing to give this channel a second chance, sit back and witness the in-depth coverage and analysis. Imagine my surprise then when the illustrative map shown on the screen during the 3pm headline news moved Tyre from its normal position by the sea to the summit of the Chouf mountain range near the border of Syria! Seeing as Sky then broadcast from the beach resort at Tyre itself I can only assume that this was a single lapse in journalistic endeavour.

But enough of such petty detail. Things are looking more positive on the ceasefire agreement. In fact, it should be implemented in a few hours from now. Fingers crossed. Lebanon took a pretty heavy pounding today - as did Northern Israel - and it was very strange seeing the pictures of Beirut without having experienced the sound of the explosions personally this time.

Our evacuation itself was actually pretty eventful and cool. Pictures will follow but suffice it to say that the day went as follows:

a) get to departure point at 9.30am Beirut time - 7.30am BST
b) get on helicopter
c) halfway across sea helicpoter runs low on fuel and so we look for ship to land on
d) US ship spotted - we think we have already agreed to land and refuel; they have no idea who we are. International friendly fire incident only averted by someone spotting the flag on the helicopter and recognising we are an ally.
e) land on ship and get taken down to the mess deck for carbohydrate-intensive chips and beans. I find out that one of the officers was a regular at Ocean City in Maryland where I was an amusement park ride attendant.
f) refuelling over, take off and get to Cyprus.
g) on arrival at Cyprus we are told that there are no flights to the UK owing to it being more dangerous than Beirut (or something).
h) wait around while people organise something.
i) we are put on the Kabul Express alongside lots of squaddies returning from Afghanistan. Only drawback is that we have to wait around for a few hours in the officers' mess. We eat more carbohydrate-intensive food.
j) we fly on the Kabul Express to Brize Norton. Food is disgusting but thankfully we are still full from the officers' mess. There is no entertainment on board but seeing as it is 3am Beirut time that really isn't a problem.
k) land at Brize Norton. There is a car waiting for us that promptly fails to start and we have to jump-start it. At this point my sense of humour fails too as it is 5am Beirut time.
l) arrive at our hotel at 5am BST, 7am Beirut time and fall asleep.

Pretty cool eh? Although the list above makes it sound like a bit of a nightmare it wasn't too bad at all - and how many people have been evacuated by helicopter?!?!?! We're now winding down and seeing family and friends. Scotland beckons and then some time back in London. I am already getting sick of my clothes but am resisting the temptation to buy more... for the moment at least! Next blog will come soon - for those who were mainly interested in the Beirut stuff - I can't blame you for a lesser interest now but keep checking in - we hope to be back soon!